did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
