Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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