i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
