At least make sure they are 18
Why
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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