I like to think it a success when the cops are called
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
