Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My pussy is not your playground.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
