Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
