i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
