oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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