...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
