your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
