dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
