4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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