Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
