I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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