Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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