I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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