drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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