You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
