i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
