we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
