She's JV to your varsity
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
