Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize