It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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