I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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