fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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