I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
