I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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