dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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