How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
This is my gift to your gina
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
