Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
