I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize