Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
