I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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