I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
