is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
