I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I am spending my child support on dildos
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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