This dress was meant to end up on your floor
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
