there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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