I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
