All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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