so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize