Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
