So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
