Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
