i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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