hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
