Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
