I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
