Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
