Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
