the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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