She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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