Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
