remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
