Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
