Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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