This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
