Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
