I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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