i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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