My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
