Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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